01/04/01

This fic is dedicated to those who write the really descriptive, juicy, wonderful lemons...may your talent rub off on me.

Best read with bow chika wow wow music... you don't know what kind of music I'm talking about? The kind that ran through your head out of nowhere when you were watching Endless Waltz.

Warnings: language, naughtiness...hehehe....this fic is going to eventually have LEMON mwahaha....just gimme some time. snicker, snicker.
Contains: well....all the bad stuff i mentioned above....and HUMOUR! Lots of it...bad me bad me...mwaha.
oh it's also AU! woohoo

Common Ground Part 1: Assphalt

by Dead Blush

It was degrading. It was degrading, and he knew it. Yet, Duo Maxwell needed the money to live. It wasn't even something he could get used to. It wasn't something he could enjoy, although he did a very good job at acting his part. He didn't like being a novelty item, and dammit, he didn't like having his braid desecrated.

He had to admit, the pay was good. The pay was damn good. He hadn't even spent it on cocaine and heroin as most porn stars he knew did. He was special. He wisely used (Not gonna say spent, for Duo's sake) his money and only got drunk and high on the weekends. Not seriously high though... just speed at the most.

He didn't need speed. Whoever pushed him into trying it in the first place needs a good kick up the ass. Duo needs a good kick up the ass, but he's had plenty up there from his line of work.

Novelty item. Wow... he looks damn good. Novelty item. That braid! Novelty item... he looks so young, the porn directors think as they put him in their films. He could pass off for 16 and play schoolboy-needs-hot-teacher in the films. Maybe because Duo Maxwell, pardon me, Duo Mmmaxwell is 16 (don't say anything though...his birth certificate says he's 1 . Novelty item... he looks young in the face but.... he's so well built, in so many places, for his age. He has to be, to be a good porn star.

It was degrading. It was degrading, and he knew it. Yet, Duo Maxwell couldn't help but become tickled at the newest movie he was doing, Big Scythe. Imagine a movie where Death has erotic sex with supposedly teenage girls (Oh, they were young teenage girls alright, but if one were to check the birth certificates they would be 18...duh.), and then he kills them with AIDS or chokes them with his braid. Bow chika wow wow.

"Maxwell, ready to get it up?" asked Jack "Jack Off" Dennison, notorious for directing and producing epic masturbation movies, as he casually walked into Duo's dressing room.
"Haha. Charming as usual," Duo said as he finished applying the black liquid eyeliner to his lids.
"I only speak the truth, buddy," Jack said.
"Ah. So what scenes are we doing today?" Duo asked as he began to braid his long, light brown hair.
Jack sighed and said, "You mean, you don't know? We're doing the first 4 scenes. I hope you know your lines."
Duo turned around to glare at him and said, "Other than grunting and moaning and saying, 'Shinigami lives!' or 'Uh, I think I'm going to cum...' right before my quote seed unquote explodes into some guy or girl's naked body, what more do I have to know?"
Jack shrugged his shoulders and said, "Hurry on up...no pun intended. Gotta get this movie going."

Duo reviewed scene 3 for the first time that day.
"Shaved?" he asked incredulously as he played with the end of his braid.
Jack nodded his head and said, "Yeah...well, you've got enough hair on your head to make up for it. Death has to be exotic 'n' erotic, ya know. Besides, we're going to do a very interesting close up scene."
Duo groaned and stomped off to one of the bathrooms, a blue BIC razor in hand.

Virginity was something Heero Yuy never thought about. To him, it was something you had and then you lost, like baby teeth or something. It wasn't something incredibly trivial, but virginity was no big deal to him, plain and simple. As he actually analyzed the virginity issue for the first time in his life, he came to the conclusion that the first time should be with some he was sexually attracted to and compatible with. His first time should be good, and there shouldn't be anything bad coming from the experience... like an STD or something. He would never admit it to himself, but technically, he was waiting for that special someone. So maybe virginity meant a little more to him then he let on.

Virginity was something he never thought about until he was forced to think about it.

"So?" Chang Wufei asked.
"I don't think so, Wufei. I'm just not sexually attracted to her," Heero said. He shrugged as if to prove his point.
"What?!" Wufei said in a pitch an octave above normal. "Sure, she's absolutely annoying, but she's got a great body. Plus...she's your girlfriend, for Chrissake!"

Heero shrugged and almost began to analyze what his oh-so-wise Chinese friend had said. However, he did not analyze the situation because he would find out two things:
1.) Heero would know that his girlfriend could be what some call "attractive" with her wheat-blonde hair and blue eyes; her slim, light body and her pouty expressions. Relena had a well-proportioned body, no disfigurations or scars... no strange eyebrows. Normal all-American (although she's not American) beauty.
2.) If Heero were to accept the fact that Relena was, by normal human being standards, pretty, then he would have to admit that he had a mini-crush on her brother, Zechs or Milliardo or Whatever His Name Is. Heero liked boys with long hair and good bodies...although he would never admit it to himself.

"I guess she could be pretty, but I have never tried to see her as being pretty," Heero said as he began to listlessly bounce the basketball onto the asphalt.
Wufei kicked the ball out of the way before it had a chance to touch his hand again.

"Damn, Yuy... you need to get laid," Wufei said softly, his voice full of pity.
"Hn," replied the perfect basketball player, who couldn't quite see where his precious ball went.
"By the way, why do you claim to be her boyfriend if you aren't attracted to her?" Wufei asked.
Heero stared at the setting sky and said, "I don't know. Isn't that what normal guys are supposed to have? Girlfriends?"

Wufei laughed and said, "Not me. I've had girlfriends and boyfriends and a wife. You forget that. Yet, here I am... a normal person who gets laid all the time and has shitloads of fun while you probably just sit at home with a huge hard on, not knowing what to do because your hands are busy hacking into military computer systems. You do realize that your hacking obsession could get out of control, right? I mean what kind of fun can it be to find out something we already knew? What a surprise...the government is misleading us! Sheesh, Yuy."

Heero growled and walked away from the small church's basketball court. Damn Chinese were always right. "Evidence over argument," Heero thought to himself as he began his four block walk home.

Duo, feeling slightly oversexed, walked down the sidewalk intently staring at the sky. He passed by one of the church basketball courts and kept walking. Every once in awhile he would lower his head to the horizontal line of sight, but that was just every once in awhile. The sky seemed so pure and clear on this January evening. The only clouds were turning pink from the setting sun. Great way to clear your thoughts. Looking at the sky.

-----------

"Damn it," Heero said as he bent over to tie his shoelaces.

-----------

"The sky sure is pretty," Duo thought as he gazed upwards.

He did not notice an ass clad in black spandex. How could he, really? The church, as holy as it is, still does not let people see who or what is on the other side of the building's corner.

-----------

Heero did not notice someone walking behind him. If he did, there wasn't enough time for him to get out of the way.

-----------

Porn stars wear leather. Teenage athletes who are bound to get basketball scholarships wear spandex. Both materials have the tendency to leave little to the imagination.

Not like Duo thought of spandex or leather as he walked past the corner straight into a firm ass, collapsing over some innocent bystander...bybender? Funny how he ended up on the cement. On his back. Staring into angry blue eyes (as if eyes could be angry). With a fist poised above his face.

"You have ten seconds to explain the sexual assault before I beat you to a bloody pulp," said Heero.
Duo's eyes grew wide and he said, "Staring at the sky. Didn't know someone was spent...bent over on the other side of the corner. Corners are hard to look past when you're coming one way.... rambling....eep."

The victim's face softened and he dropped his fist. He stood up and pulled the leather clad boy off the cement. Ah, now was the time to notice that spandex and leather leave little to the imagination.

Not like Heero would notice anything like that... he liked girls, remember?

Duo's eyes wandered over Heero's body, making note of the sweat-drenched red tank top that clung to the boy like a second skin.
"You can play basketball in spandex?" Duo asked.
Heero glared. The nerve of him...being observant! Damn observance. Dammit. Damn, damn, damn.....
"Well, what can I say? These leather pants of mine aren't quite the best for walking in..." the braided porn star rambled.

Not like Heero knew that Duo was a big time porn star... he didn't watch pornos or anything sexual like that. Perish the thought.

"Obviously you lack the oxygen necessary to let your brain fully function," Heero said.
Duo grinned and said, "God, you're cute."

Heero chose not to respond to that and walked away.

"Hey! Hey, you! Wait up!" Duo shouted once he realized that he was about to miss a good....catch.
Heero kept on walking, oblivious to the boy. Duo caught up with Heero and tapped him on the shoulder, causing Heero to stop dead in his tracks. He turned around with a glare already forming in the back of his eyeballs.
"What?" Heero growled. Growled...he growled.
Duo blushed.
"I....was heading to get some coffee or a pastry or something. Want to come with me? My treat?" Duo asked.
"Do you always hit on total strangers?"
"You're right. it sounds sort of risky, eh? Well, let's fix that. I'm Duo Maxwell...and you are?"
"Heero Yuy...bye," Heero replied.
Duo's lower lip poked out and he said, "Aw...c'mon. I just want to be nice and buy ya something that hits the tummy real well. I don't think I could rape you or anything, if that's what you're scared of. Didn't you notice that you somehow had me on my back...threatening to beat me to a bloody pulp? Hello?"
Heero sighed and said, "Fine. I look too sweaty and gross for a public place, though.. .not like I really care."
"It suits you," Duo said as his eyes once again trailed Heero's body.

Heero stared at his plain bagel with the lox spread on it. He felt self-conscious, sitting there with a total stranger who bought him a bagel and some bitter French Vanilla coffee. He felt self-conscious because he had this sinking feeling that if he looked at his company, he might like what he saw. Dammit, that's not good.

Heero let his eyes drift to the photo-wallpaper of happy men and women walking the New York City streets in the 1940's. Why did bagel places think that vintage pictures make people hungry and nostalgic? "People must eat a lot of bagels in New York," Heero thought.

"So what do you do in your spare time?" Duo asked.
"I play basketball a lot. Have to practice all the time to get some scholarship of the highest bit of whatever it is that helps you become a pro athlete. I'm getting kind of sick of it though, but my legal guardian is so persistent about it. You?"
Duo shrugged and said, "In my spare time, I take walks and hehe... gaze at the sky. Most nights I'm at night school, but that's not exactly spare time...although I voluntarily gave away that time."
"Why don't you go to regular school?" Heero asked.
"I work in the day," replied Duo.
"God, how old are you? You look my age."
Duo sighed and said, "I probably am. I'm 16 or 18...whatever floats your boat."
Heero dismissed the answer to his question and asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm an actor...it's an overstatement, but nonetheless, it's true."
Heero pondered for a moment and then said, "What kind of movies do you do? Indies?"
Duo shook his head and said, "Nope....pornos."
"Ah.......what?!"
"Pornos. I take off my clothes and have erotic sex for the camera, with men and women."
"Is it fun?" The question escaped Heero's lips before he had a chance to squelch it. Great.
Duo smirked a little and said, "That wasn't the reaction I thought I'd get."
"Same here," Heero said flatly.
"To answer your question, nope. I don't know whether or not you've felt oversexed, but personally, I don't like the feeling. Sex is supposed to be fun...not a job."
"Then why did you start doing it?"
"I've been an orphan forever. Lived on the streets, sometimes in orphanages. On the streets I did stuff for money. It was gross because I was little. I was a little kid. Gross, right? Anyhoo, once when I was fourteen someone offered me a lot of money to play the role of a teenage boy in a Catholic school. I was naive, and I signed a contract without even looking at it. I'm sure I could have sued...but that's not the point. Anyways, the movie was a porno and you can just guess.... I didn't get addicted to the job, I got addicted to living a relatively normal life. I got money... isn't that sick how people sell themselves for money? Yet, it's nice being able to buy food and have a warm house in the winter. Very."

Heero stared at him, stunned. A blush crept up Duo's cheeks at the uncomfortable silence. Great.
"Okay, since I just spilled my life story," said Duo, "then why don't you tell me about this basketball thing. I'm interested. I play basketball myself, when I have some time to."
Heero grunted.
"I was raised by a mad scientist."
"Ah."
"I'm serious."
"I believe you."
"He believed in physical perfection. He then took advantage of the fact that I enjoyed playing basketball and made it into something I rarely enjoy. I guess I've been his experiment all my life. Oh, well. Think of all the money I could make if I became pro. Ha. Ha. Ha. It's funny how people sell themselves for money," said Heero. "Looks like we've got common ground," Duo said in a low voice.

Heero laughed bitterly and took a sip of his coffee.
Bitter coffee.
Bitter laugh.
Bitter life.

---------

"Well, come by and see me sometime. You might see a bunch of nude people standing around, but that's not necessarily a bad thing, right?"
"Hn," Heero said.
"And if you do stop by the area, whatever you do.... don't accept any drinks from anyone," Duo continued.
"Hn," was the reply.
"Well, have fun playing basketball."
"Have fun having sex."
"Hn," replied Duo.
Heero smirked at him and walked away. "He's even better looking when he lets some sort of smile cross his face," Duo thought to himself.

"Hee-chan, what took you so long to get back to your house? I called like two hours ago, and Dr. J said that you were supposed to be getting home soon. That's why I came over... to make sure you were all right," Relena said as she entered the living room.
"I'm okay... I stopped somewhere and had a bagel and coffee," Heero said.
"For two hours?" Relena asked incredulously.
Heero gave her a mild glare and said, "No.... one hour of eating. It took me a bit longer to walk home though. I was staring at the sky."
"That is so cute!" Relena squealed.
Heero blushed and sat down on the couch.
"I brought a movie we could watch," Relena said softly.

It's funny how Fate and God work together. Fate (obviously a cross-dressing male) and God (obviously a strong female deity often mistaken for being a lesbian) have some really kinky sex. It makes sense if you think about it.

"I found it when I was snooping in Milliardo's bedroom...err, Zech's bedroom. He's so uppity about that name now that he's in college. Anyhoo, it looks totally hilarious...I've always wanted to watch one of these," Relena babbled. "One of what?" Heero asked, paranoia seeping into his veins.

Fate and God not only have really kinky sex, but they always manage to have strange little children called

"Pornos. I've always wanted to watch one," Relena said matter-of-factly.
Heero felt himself pale, and he coughed a little.
"Come on, Heero. Don't you think it would be sexy? I can see it in your eyes that you wouldn't mind watching one." When Heero didn't reply, she said, "Good. It's called 'Catholic School.' That's not a very kinky title...I know, but still...it should be interesting."
"Catholic school?" Heero asked.
"Yeah, s'posed to be about a teenage boy and one of the nuns," Relena replied.
"No way. No way. No way. The world isn't that small and fucked up, is it?" thought Heero.

Oh, yes, it is.
"That guy only looks fourteen," Heero said to Relena as the movie started.
"No way!! That's just make up, dear. It's not legally possible to put a 14 year old in the movie. Besides, isn't he just a bit big to be fourteen?" She asked as she wiped away drool from her mouth.
Heero just smirked.

-----------

Getting turned on by a fourteen year old boy standing nude in the middle of a room masturbating is not that good when your girlfriend is sitting next to you. Even if it's just on your television screen...it's not good.

Then again, Heero's girlfriend was turned on herself...but she had nothing to show for it.

-----------

Virginity was something Relena Peacecraft always thought about. She desperately needed to catch up with the other girls. Desperately. It was bad enough that she had only managed to slip Heero some tongue once, but it's worse that she would have to be the one to do the dirty job of seduction. It should be the other way around. Everyone knows that.

The porno gave the perfect opportunity to see Heero getting excited. She knew that a boy could only resist so much without giving in, and dammit, she was going to get laid! Relena was very sly when it came to observing people. She had pretty good periphereal vision....a lot of people do (Whoo-pi-fricking-do!). She barely tilted her head when she saw something that lifted her spirits.

(Dear reader, must I, as narrator, tell you the alliteration that came to Relena's head? Oh, ok. I'm only allowing you to know what Relena noticed because alliteration is funny. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.)

Heero had a hard-on.

"Oh, Heero," Relena cooed.
"What?!" Heero shouted.
"Need some help?" she asked, making obscene hand gestures.

Heero began to blush, and he crossed his legs.
"No!" he said as he grabbed a pillow from the couch.
"Aw, Heero."
"No!"

Relena turned off the power on the television in one swift click of the remote. The only light in the room was a small lamp that gave off an eerie glow without the television there to give emotional support. Heero began to shake uncontrollably. "How come she's not mad at me? Is she that blind? Not like it was him that got me...ugh! I'm disgusting! I can't have thoughts about--"
Heero's thoughts were interrupted when he felt a hand brush against his
"Holy Bejesus! Relena, I am not going to let you come anywhere near Willy Wing!"
Heero blushed when he realized that he had given away the code name for you-know-what. He sprang off the couch, cursing in Japanese. Relena began to cry, but all he did to comfort her was walk to the door and gesture for her to leave.
That's not really comfort, though. Is it?

"We're through, Yuy!" Relena shouted as she stormed out, tears running down her cheeks.

"Hn," replied Heero.

And as Relena walked home, she got an epiphany.
"Through the movie, he was never hard until... That one scene...that one scene!!! He's gay! Asshole probably knew it, too."

Relena got home and called all her minions. Heero Yuy was going to be the laughingstock of the whole school, if Relena Peacecraft had her say. Yes, Relena was going to have her say.

"Dammit, I left the porno at his house. Ha. Maybe he'll rewind it and get his first orgasm," Relena said to her cats.

The cats purred in reply. Good kitties would never, ever break her heart. Oh, if only Relena could be a cat. Purrfect...meow. Thoughts of bestiality were gross, so Relena was forced to leave the room lest she be tempted. Relena was the only person who desperately needed to get laid. Desperately.

End of Part 1.

Some points to ponder:
1. What does a Willy Wing custom look like?
2. Is it as strong and hard as gundanium?

(grins)

Dead Blush